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Flakes! Title No. 1: Dan’s A Flake Title No. 2: Marshall & Marie Description: Wallace’s off camera teasing keeps Dan from staying in character, and Marie Osmond’s a little bit country; Marshall Good’s a little bit moocher. Date: 1983 Comments: I love to laugh. I’ve always had trouble staying in character when I’m performing. As far back as 6th grade when I played in a class skit where the wig I was wearing accidentally fell off causing the audience to crack up, I couldn’t keep from laughing. Wallace could make me laugh at the drop of a hat and he knew that it didn’t take much to set me giggling. Many times, he took advantage of this—and the first clip here, Dan’s A Flake,was one of those times. First of all, my sincerest apologies to the Call-A-Kid winners named in this clip, and to anyone else who happens to have the same name—I simply couldn’t help myself. Here’s what happened: I was off camera on the main set waiting to do a bit with Polly as Wall & Lad played Call-A-Kid. Then Wallace announced that the winners’ name was—Flake. FLAKE! This was the word we used on the show when we needed a negative descriptor. We used it often, mostly about Marshall Good and Captain Super, but for other characters as well. We couldn’t say bastard or S.O.B. (or dumb ass! like That 70’s Show), so we used flake. I never dreamed it was actually someone’s name—so, despite my best efforts not to, I laughed. I don’t know why it struck me so funny, but you can hear the off camera chuckles in the clip. By the time the camera panned over to me, I had pretty much regained my composure. I started my bit, and then Wallace started in... From off camera, barely audible, he kept saying, “flake.” He even moved to the other side of the camera and, just out of the shot, started making faces, mouthing the word ‘flake’ and doing anything he could to distract me, all perfectly timed to make me break character. I was powerless not to laugh—this was Wallace, whom I’d grown up watching—and despite being part of the show, I never lost that ‘star-struck’ feeling when I was around him. Of course I laughed. (Thanks, Wall, for making me laugh.) The second clip here, Marshall & Marie, which aired shortly before the first one, shows exactly why I laughed when I heard the name. A very pregnant Marie Osmond made a guest appearance on the show. Craig Dingle dashed-off a bit for Marshall Good and Cassandra for the following break. It’s the usual business involving a $5 dollar bill from Marie, and I don’t think I have to spell out what word pops up no fewer than three times. (Unfortunately, I didn’t record Marie Osmond’s segment on the show and I can’t remember what she was there to promote. However, I do remember that she was one of the most gracious and graceful people I ever met. She even autographed the teleprompter of this bit for me, which I still have. I can whole-heartedly attest that she is definitely NOT a fla— oh, wait, creep. That isn’t someone’s name, is it?) Dan Horn 2008
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